A Prayer for My Marriage

A special welcome to those who are visiting from today’s devotion. I’m glad you’re here!

Marriage is one of the topics that I write about with fear and trembling. Although I’m happily married and love being married, we’ve experienced the bumps of life and living together just like you. It was only the picture of the couple in the devotion that compelled me to write about marriage. Watching them together was both exquisite and heart-breaking, but they challenged me to live my vows better.

I want to keep it short and sweet today, simply offering a prayer that you can pray for your marriage. I’m going to God with the same words.

Feel free to download and print it by clicking on the graphic.

Know that today I am praying for the marriage of each person that visits the blog. I’m in this with you, sisters!

Note: If you are in a struggling marriage, I know this topic is particularly painful. My heart is with you.

If you’re experiencing abuse of any kind, please, please enlist the support of a friend and call the domestic violence hotline in your area today. The devotion and prayer today are not to guilt you into staying in an abusive marriage. God loves you and prioritizes your safety.

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  1. I’ve been married to my husband for almost 9 years and it’s been very tumultuous. It wasn’t until a few years in that I realized he has a personality disorder. His behavior changes on a dime and it’s very difficult to remain calm, loving, positive etc. Especially when he takes no responsibility for his behavior or really anything. I do 95% of the work that needs to be done around the house and 95% of the parenting of our son. I know in my heart that his behavior and attitude is mental and emotional abuse but I also know that I’ve made promises and that my husbands behaviors etc aren’t always in his control. But, honestly, I want to stay and work on this. I believe that with God all things are possible. Unfortunately, Dan don’t saved and so it’s all on me right now. I guess the whole point of this is to ask if you would please pray for his salvation. and my perserverance through this with my hope and trust in the Lord. It’s really really hard. Thank you, Carolyn

    • Carolyn, I read your post and prayed through each of your requests. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. As you pray, stay, and work to build a better marriage, there are a few resources I’d like to share with you. The two books that came to mind are Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and a new one called No More Perfect Marriages by Jill Savage. Also, I encourage you to reach out and get professional help. If you’re truly dealing with mental illness, a professional counselor will help you navigate your marriage and lighten the load of carrying it alone. Focus on the Family has a counseling hotline and also does referrals. Here’s the link:http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/emotional-health/counseling-services-and-referrals

      So often the only choices look like to go or to stay. I encourage you to work toward a third option since you want to stay… stay and work toward a marriage where you are treated with love, respect and dignity. You’re in my prayers, and I’m praying fervently for your husband’s salvation.

  2. Whether you’ve been married 36 years (like me!) or are planning your wedding for next summer – this is an awesome prayer for couples! Thank you for using the traditional vows and breaking them down into sections we can focus on, meditate on, put our hopes and dreams on – always keeping Christ as the focus of our lives. I always enjoy your teachings and writings – your humor, love for life and love of Christ always shines through! Be blessed today!

    • Shirley, you’ve been a huge encouragement to me today. Please pray with me today over all the women who have read the devotion and prayer through heart-breaking circumstances.

  3. Good morning…..& thank you for graciously sharing this prayer…it is awesome….I plan on printing it out & framing it…what a neat idea as a anniversary gift too….thanks Amy….

    Have a blessed day……….

    & also just finished reading your P31 excerpt….it was beautiful & heartbreaking all @ the same time….I was tearing…as I read.,…that is true & unequivocal….love…& devotion….& faithfulness…e.g.. Commitment

    Thank again,…….Kathy Wyg

  4. I’m in tears as I read this this morning. My husband of 19 years left our family one week ago and has asked for a divorce. We have two children, ages 13 and 10. I have caused him a lot of pain by not meeting his needs, and he has done the same. It was a vicious cycle that we allowed to overcome our love for another. The truth is, we did not put God first. Knowing that, and asking to try again, and being told no is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I want nothing more than to have God lead our marriage and lead our family to be a testament to Him. I confessed to my husband that I have suffered through a bout of depression and only recently have sought help and have begun to see light at the end of a dark tunnel. I believe this depression negatively impacted my ability to serve my husband as a wife should, and contributed to his decision to leave. Now he has made up his mind, and the help I am receiving is “too little too late”. I pray that God touches his heart and shows him that God’s plan for marriage is for Him to be first, and that our family deserves another chance. I pray that we can restore what God has blessed and rebuild a marriage even stronger than anything we’ve ever had before. I pray that my children will know they are loved even in these hard times. I pray that my husband sees unconditional love in me and can forgive me of the ways I have treated him and the pain I have caused him and will allow me another chance to show my love for him. I pray for strength and comfort and healing. My husband says he knows what I need and I know what he needs, we just don’t want to give it to each other. I pray that God will put the desire in his heart to give me what I need, as I have the desire to do for my husband. I pray that we would both seek a relationship with God and that He would bless our vows and our family. Thank you for your precious words. I will continue to fight for my marriage and my family as God intended and as I vowed on my wedding day.

    • Mona, I’m so sorry you’re facing this. You and your family are in my heart, and I’m praying for restoration. I’m also praying for godly people who would support and advise you through this time. I’m standing with you!

      • Thank you, Amy. I found out today that he has already filed the divorce papers with the lawyer. I will continue to stand and pray, no matter the outcome. God will not forsake me. His plans are beyond anything we can ever imagine, and I trust Him. I believe this time will be used for good and that our lives will be enriched in God’s love during the wait for restoration and recommitment.

  5. Good evening Amy, just wanted to say thank you so very much for that beautiful prayer such a blessing to me! Praise be to God for the marriages that He covers with His love and Blessings! Thank you for the encouragement as women we need it. God Bless You!!

    • Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement, Rhonda! I’m thankful the prayer is a blessing to you.

  6. Amy,

    When I read your devotion this morning it really hit home and brought tears to my eyes. I’ve not been married long. This June will be my second anniversary. I found out a few months ago my husband was having an affair and it had been going on since the beginning of our marriage. He said he wanted to work through it and make things better. I thought I owed it to my marriage to try and repair it. Marriage is more than a convenience or piece of paper. Well it happened again after we hit a rough patch. Am I suppose to expect that every time we have problems and the issue of the affair comes up he turns back to old habits and tries to find someone else to meet his needs? I know through it all I am putting my trust in God. I don’t want a divorce, but I can’t be in a relationship and say it’s ok to cheat. I know I need to find forgiveness in my heart.

    • Oh, Becky… I was away from my desk yesterday, and I’m sorry I’m so long in responding. My heart is broken in two by the reality you’re living, and I want you to know that I’m praying for you and standing with you.

      Jesus is very clear in scripture about what adultery does to a marriage. Adultery itself breaks marriage vows.

      Matt. 14: 4-9
      “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

      7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

      8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

      Although I’ve heard people debate this passage, I believe Jesus is very clear. Adultery breaks our vows.

      Having said that, I’ve had friends who have worked through adultery and have experienced restored marriages. I praise Him for the redemption He makes available in all our stories. However, I also have another friend who is now in her 60s whose husband repeatedly cheated on her over the years. I grieve for her. He has never turned to the Lord, never been truly repentant, and their marriage is miserable. Although I love this woman dearly and stand by her right to choose to stay, I don’t believe it’s God’s will for any of His daughters to be treated as less than the precious treasure that they are. I would not have done the same in her shoes.

      It’s not ok for your husband to cheat. Your right–it can’t be a habit that’s repeated over and over. Those definitive statements don’t necessarily mean that your marriage is over, but I do believe that you’ll be required to take a strong stand and actions or he never has a reason to change. I’m not a counselor, so I don’t want to tell you what this can and should look like. Instead, I want to urge you to find a professional, Christian counselor (I love pastors, but they’re not always the most equipped in counseling.). Focus on the Family has been a fantastic resource for my family in the past, and they have a counseling phone line as well as a referral service. They can talk to you, send you resources, and help you to find an excellent counselor in your area. Here’s the link: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/emotional-health/counseling-services-and-referrals

      I’m praying for you to be able to stand as the strong, deeply loved woman you are even if your circumstances may be screaming at you to believe the opposite. Please know that my heart is with you.

  7. Amy thank you so much for the powerful expansion of marriage vows!! This was perfect timing as I continue to need reminders of how to be the wife God desires me to be & am sooo far from it!! I just had the conversation with my 19 yr old daughter yesterday about relationships & admitted how often I am not the helpmate I should be to my husband. Your words were so helpful in fleshing out how to be just that! The first statement hit me hard as I often wonder if we really were meant to be together but also knowing God uses marriage as a major sanctifying process?Thank you for the encouragement!! Have a blessed day!

    • Lisa, I’m so glad the prayer encouraged you! I wrestled over writing that first one, and I stated it that way because there are lots of women who are asking the same thing you’ve asked, “What if I married the wrong man? What if I missed God’s will?” I have come to believe that the minute we say “I do”, that man becomes God’s chosen for us… that God is for our marriage just like He’s for us… that God will be at work in our marriage. Thanks for sharing your story. Know that you’re not alone and that your sister here are standing with you.

  8. God bless you Amy for this revelation and depths of insights into the marriage vows. God has been helping my husband and I over the 12 years we’ve been married. Recently though I have been struggling with the part of being a help meet for him. My husband is convinced and determined about a certain project and all I can see is how this project is bleeding us financially and causing us to live apart in different continents. I must say at the beginning, I went along with the project because we agreed 6months, he would move and join me and the children. It’s almost 2 years now, we are still living apart, we are financially almost at zero and my husband is still determined to continue. I for one can’t gather the zeal for the project and it’s truly a struggle mentally and spiritually to be the helpmeet and supportive wife I know I ought to be.

    • Ukinebo, I’m praying for wisdom and discernment this morning as you seek God about living out your vows. I’m also praying for your husband to be filled with a desire for your family to be reunited. I’m standing with you, sister.

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