Amy Carroll » Blog » Before You Speak… Wait.

Before You Speak… Wait.

Well friends, it’s a crazy time. I’ve got more list than day right now, and I’m sure many of you know what I mean! The notes that I made for a long post, one processing what we do before we say hard things, have been laying on my desk for weeks, but I don’t have the capacity to write it all at one time, so…

I’m going to send them in little bits. Maybe it will be better to process it that way anyway. 🙂

In the meantime, we can still stay more connected. I’m posting regularly on Instagram and Facebook, and I’m working hard to up the value of my posts for my followers. If you haven’t taken a listen to Grit ‘n’ Grace, the podcast that I co-host with Cheri Gregory, that’s a place where we can connect while you’re on the go. Please join me at one of those places!

Tip #1: Before You Say the Hard Thing… Wait.

Quick responses often miss the mark of being Christlike.

Instead of speaking or typing an answer right away or feeling pressure to respond, pause. James 1:19 instructs us well, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

My personal rule is to wait 24-hours before I even begin to craft what I want to say or write. I broke my own rule a few weeks ago and wrote a rude reply when I was frazzled.

Not good.

I apologized quickly to restore a sweet relationship, but I rolled around in regret for a little while. I know better! In yet another lesson learned from a hard-knock of my own making, I re-resolved to wait 24-hours before speaking up in a tough situation.

What do you think? Would waiting be a helpful tool as you grow in speaking up in more godly ways?

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  1. Yes, better to stay quiet and think about what you are going to say
    Is it going to lift or tear down
    Positive or negative

  2. Jill Stauffer says:

    Yes, I try to wait before speaking as well, especially in work emails. When talking to others I have also learned and am mostly effective, to wait before responding to something important.

  3. Sherrie Shamlian says:

    Definitely a good thing. Sometimes I write it out and don’t send my message right away. Next time i consider the response i find that I’ve had a chance to look at all the nuances of the situation and the Lord has changed my attitude/ response.

  4. Yes for sure. Less likely to have regrets in waiting. Gain wisdom and divine direction while waiting when we have asked and prayed to God about it

  5. Thank you for your”Before you Speak…Wait” 24 hour rule. I will certainly use this one. I have been reading James 1:19!

  6. Tess Scott says:

    Wise advice. This waiting thing is especially difficult when emotion is attached to the issue, as is often the case lately. Or so it seems with me.
    I appreciate this reminder. #Lordshutmymouth

  7. Great take away … wait 24 hours to reply when what I have to say is hard.

  8. Anne Marie says:

    ABSOLUTELY! Wish I did it more often, and wish others did too! Thanks for the reminder!

  9. Stephanie says:

    Yes, that is a good reminder to not respond right away when emotions are still raw. To not feel pressured by the other person to respond quickly also comes to mind. Taking some time to pray and ask the Holy Spirit how I should respond is using wisdom. Thanks Amy!

  10. Kelli Mayfield says:

    I can so relate! I have lived in a state of remorse and regret for too long. Words spoken or sent because I was suffering hurt physically or mentally can not be taken back. I have learned to give my pain to God and pray for the ones who have “no not what they do”. I pray daily to respond with love. Sometimes the best that love can be is silence.

  11. Such a wonderful reminder. Thank you, Amy. I love your heart and it allows us to learn from you in such a Jesus way. Blessings.

  12. I so agree with you about setting a boundary of time on our words to give the Holy Spirit the opportunity to infuse wisdom, compassion, as well as restraint. Thank you for writing honestly about this struggle. I so relate!

  13. Thank you for the reminder, Amy. This way, we are still speaking. But we get to avoid some damage control.