It’s OK to Be Mad
Here’s how I used to say the title of today’s post, “It’s ok to be mad?”
I thought that I had everyone fooled and that my anger was under wraps. I mean, simmering resentment isn’t as bad as being mad, is it? I believed that my cheerful demeanor and quick-to-smile personality masked the fact that I was often on the verge of erupting.
But in a conversation one day about my Enneagram* 1-ness, I said to my husband, “I was shocked to read that an Enneagram 1’s besetting sin is anger. I don’t think I’m angry.”
His reply?… “Hmmmm.”
Maybe I didn’t cover it so well after all. :/
I’ve written extensively about my 50-something struggle to feel my feelings fully while expressing them appropriately. Let’s just say I’m still in progress especially as it relates to anger. The lid is off, but it’s not all tamed. I’m still working toward harnessing healthy anger in righteous ways while naming the emotion under anger in other situations.
That’s why I’m doing something rare today. I’m recommending a valuable resource for dealing with anger (I’m not the only one am I?) instead of writing my own thoughts. This interview is so good that I couldn’t do better, and it also for the woman who’s struggling to process/express your anger at all.
My friends Suzie Eller, Holly Gerth and Jennifer Watson, co-hosts of the More Than Smalltalk podcast rocked my world in the best way with one of their recent episodes. Because I really, really want you to listen too, I’m putting some mic drop quotes from the first 5 minutes below. Listen to “It’s OK to Be Mad– Episode 185” for more.
“We were told in many ways that good Christian girls don’t get angry, and yet anger is part of God’s character. It’s also an energizing emotion.”
“Righteous anger is being angry at the things that oppose God without being motivated by sin.”
“Righteous anger is saying ‘This is wrong.’ Not so righteous anger is saying, ‘I’m right!'”
If you have time, drop what you learned into the comments here. I’d love for us to interact there!
*Enneagram is a personality tool that has helped me understand the way God made me versus the coping mechanisms that I’ve layered over His creation.
I need wisdom in handling conflict and dysfunction at work. No one seems to want to confront it head on but my mental wellbeing can’t take any more. I also question why I feel like I’m supposed be the one to get the ball rolling so to speak.
Thanks in advance for your prayers!
Dottie, I’m praying for you right now! I’m praying that you’ll have wisdom to know what’s yours to tackle and peace for what’s not. I’m also praying for a grace-filled exit if that’s His will. Conflict is truly difficult, and my heart is with you.
Thank you for this. I have been spirituality and physically abused. Not just by Christians. I have renounced everything imaginable. I had a sister that was into witchcraft and feel.like she is still trying to control me, though we have no contact. I’m not the free Christian I should be. Please pray for deliverance. Thank you and God richly bless you.
I just spent time praying for you, Erica. It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy load, and my heart breaks for you. If you’re having trouble working through it all by yourself, I highly recommend Christian counseling. It’s been such a help to me. Focus on the Family has a great referral service, and you can access it at https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/
Thank you, Amy, for sharing this particular Small Talk episode. The ladies’ conversation met me where I need to be met.
Linda, I’m so happy you found it helpful too. I thought I might not be the only one. 😉
I could write a book about my anger…oh wait…I “am” writing about my anger in my memoir. Going through a messy divorce one year after Mom died, I met a gentleman, moved to his city, married and ready for happily ever after. Until he up and died! The rest is history that’s going into my memoir. I’m struggling how to point out the “many” places God met me in my anger. It’s ok to be angry…He still loves us.
Lol! I think you’re writing a much-needed book. Cheering you on!
Thank you! I’ll take all the encouragement I can get!