It’s been one of those mornings.
In fact, I’ve had a bunch of “those days” in the last few weeks. Do you know the ones? It’s a day when the pressure on your chest overwhelms the joy in your heart. It’s a day when just looking at the walls in the pit you’re in make you feel too tired to try to climb out. It’s a day when your burdens obscure your blessings.
As a girl with a naturally sunny personality, I don’t have lots of these kinds of days. It’s not that I don’t feel the realities around me. I just don’t usually let those realities consume me.
That hasn’t been true lately. The little things have become giants, and they’ve been eating my lunch. Not. Good.
The bottom line is that things haven’t been perfect. Translation: I’m not in control.
Wow. So I have a book coming out called Breaking Up with Perfect, and I can’t quite let go of life’s imperfections or my own.
Does anybody else see a problem here?
I sure do. I thought I was writing out of a place of having learned to let go of Perfect. I thought he and I had broken up for good. Knowing I should know better has been one reason I’ve been kicking myself around the block.
But I think I’m really just like everybody else. We all have surface flaws and sin that’s easy to address. We repent. We learn. We move on to the next thing.
Then there are the deep places of our souls that need tearing down in order to be rebuilt. These are the places we need God’s grace most. And they’re the places we need to give ourselves the most grace. These are the places that won’t be fixed overnight. The lessons that have to be learned and relearned over and over. The wounds surely healing–but slowly and from the bottom up.
God’s grace has been extravagant. My grace for myself tends to be miserly.
This morning as in all the other days I’ve struggled, I heard God whisper, “Don’t just think about Me. Turn to Me.”
And so I did.
I turned to His Word. The place I know I can find truth when every other thing is in question.
And He was faithful. He gently led me to Psalm 31: 1-8.
In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
Keep me free from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.
I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
as for me, I trust in the Lord.
I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
I read, and I ran into my Strong Fortress. He met me there. As I soaked in His loving presence, I knew what I needed to do. Picking up my prayer journal, I started listing the things for which I’m thankful. I listed and listed, and as I did, all the small things–the worries, the joy stealers, the cares–shrunk back to their proper size.
It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes about prayer…
[Tweet “”Prayer doesn’t always change things for me, but it always changes me for things.” ~Unknown”]
My circumstances haven’t changed. There are still some things I’d like control over. (Just keepin’ it real!) But my trust has grown. God’s got this, and He is my refuge.
Are you having a day? I’d love to pray for you. Just leave a request. I’ll leave an “Amen” for you once I’ve prayed so you know I’m standing with you. Big hugs to you today!