In today’s devotion, I talk about my feelings on Valentine’s Day after my engagement was broken. It was awful.
Maybe you’re facing Valentine’s Day with dread this year too. Either your heart is broken or full with unfulfilled longings for a mutually loving relationship.
I get it.
Looking back on my heart-break made me wonder… If I had the opportunity now to comfort my younger, heart-broken self, what would I say?
I would be so much more tender with my young self than I was to myself at the time. I would speak words of comfort instead of instruction. I’d love myself and take care of myself rather than beating myself up and looking for where it all went wrong. Here’s what I’d say to my younger self (and to you, sweet friend):
Let it all out. Years ago in a tragedy at our church, a high school senior lost his life in an accident at youth camp. It was terrible, the church community reeled, and our caring staff brought in a Christian counselor to talk to us about grief and healing. He said something I’ll never forget, “Feel every emotion as it comes and lay them all at the foot of the cross.” He explained that Christians are often the worst people to try to help in grief because we don’t want to acknowledge our feelings. We want to pretend everything is ok to create a facade that we think looks like faith. Instead, he argued, we’d heal more quickly if we took every emotion to Jesus. When my heart broke, I hid from Jesus and tried to act like I was ok. Not a good solution.
Being broken-hearted isn’t wrong. God is highly relational, and we are created in His image. Hurting when relationship breaks is part of being His image-bearer. We don’t want to wallow and stay stuck in that hurt, but it wasn’t healthy that I tried to ignore and plow through it either.
Better days are coming. The hopelessness of a broken heart is the worst, but God promises good to those who love Him and are called to His purposes. (Romans 8:28) If I could have given my younger self a peek at myself today, she would have known that God had something better in store than the previous relationship. She would have seen that each day would be less miserable as she moved back toward God and His healing.
Ultimately, God wants our hearts to be whole in Him, not dependent on the love of another human. But He’s the tender creator of our hearts who knits us back together after hurts. Let’s celebrate that this Valentine’s Day.
If your heart is healthy, whole, and maybe even in love, could I call on you to reach out in love this week? Let’s not forget those who might need some comfort as we celebrate romance.
Here’s a fun little giveaway for singles! If you’re single or going to give the gift to someone who is single, you are eligible. Everybody else, please sit this one out. 🙂 Leave a comment or simply say “I am loved” to enter!
A signed copy of Breaking Up with Perfect
A “love” car coaster
An “I am His-I am the daughter of a king” magnet
A “Serve One Another in Love” note pad and spatula
Bath and Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar lotion