Un-Mixing Your Motives–Part I
I remember the first time I realized I wanted to be a speaker.
It was while I was watching a professional speaker lead a conference at my church. Several months before I had accepted the position as women’s ministry director and was handed a packet. “Oh! We forgot to tell you,” my friend said. “We have a speaker booked, and now you’re in charge of the conference.” (Big smile.)
I actually loved every minute of organizing the event with our women’s ministry team! But as I interacted with our completely lovely speaker, something insidious began to wind itself around my heart. It was envy, and if it could have spoken aloud, it would have said, “I want THAT!”
I wanted her platform.
I wanted her eloquence.
I wanted her audience.
I wanted her cute outfit.
Fortunately, I knew myself well enough to recognize the signs of covetousness rather than calling. So I asked God to kill the weed of envy exponentially growing and choking my heart and my calling to lead the women at our church.
God is faithful, and He did kill it.
For the following 3 years, I served in my current calling with joy and contentment.
Have you experienced mixed motives in your calling? I think if we’re honest, most of us would admit that we have. (Or am I the only horrible woman confessing her sins out there?! Ha!)
When we’re called to a public ministry like speaking or writing, there are so many opportunities to get off track. These are just a few:
- People pleasing
- Identity from works
- Savior complex
- Creating “good” circumstances instead of God-circumstances
- Desire for notoriety
- Confusing emotion for calling
Please come back next week to hear more about God’s purifying work in my heart and 2 keys questions that keep our motives un-mixed. I’d love for you to invite a friend via Facebook or Twitter! (There’s going to be an opportunity for you to win something wonderful, and you’ll have additional entries with some social networking.)
Yes. I’ve been here. In fact, I’ve caught myself thinking I could do that! Way before I could’ve. And maybe even thinking…that should be me. Ewww! I truly believe for me and probably thank God, he wouldn’t allow that and so my desire to speak remained just a desire. Recently I was asked to speak. I went away and had some serious one on one time with God. It led to a talk that seemed to truly be His message. And it opened up new doors. Sometimes there are some key things we’ve got to get before God can use us!
Amy, thank-you for your honesty here. I struggle with patience…I completely trust in God’s plan for me but I. WANT. IT. NOW. Of course, I know there is a reason for each step of the way, and I go in my mind frequently to “Experiencing God” (Blackaby and Blackaby) where I first really learned it was okay to take life step by step….sitting under the shining light of God’s face. It’s okay if I don’t know exactly what the path will look like or where it will lead. It’s enough to know that HIS light is there and leading the way. God bless you!
Amy, I love how transparent you are with your readers. I think we need to be very careful “who” we are doing this for, and your post certainly outlines those “other” motives. I have a missionary friend who always signs her emails with this saying… “All for Jesus!” I learned so much from her because she loved me first.
I’m wrestling with mixed motives right now. It’s a sneaky and subtle slope, but I’m looking forward to learning how God worked in your heart to get you back on track. Thank you for an honest and open post.
I absolutely love this Amy. Confession feels good right now. God is working on me learning to submit and seek only his approval. You being so transparent encourages me. Thank you
Thank you for this! It really spoke to my heart this morning.
Not sure who wrote this piece and poured out her heart to us but I LOVE it! Yes, been there, done that, bourght the chips and ate the whole bag:-)!!! Thank you so much for your transparency and honesty. It’s a daily battle that we fight as women and yes we need to ask God to “kill” from the onset!