Amy Carroll » Growing Spiritually » Will Breaking Up with Perfect Work for My Small Group Study?

Will Breaking Up with Perfect Work for My Small Group Study?


I got a question in an email from a friend last week that I thought some of you might be wondering too. She asked, “Would Breaking Up with Perfect work for my women’s Sunday School class?”

The answer is a definite yes!

In fact, I did some extra leg-work to make sure it’s easy for leaders who want to use it in small groups, Bible studies or Sunday School settings. Here are some of the features in the book:

  • Transformation Points– At the end of each chapter, there are 3-4 questions designed for personal reflection. This is to make it easy for women who don’t need one more thing on their to-do list.
  • Going Deeper– For women who want more and have time for more, there’s a section in the back of the book that has deeper independent Bible study for each chapter.
  • “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Perfect”– Girls of a certain age, do you get the song reference? (All the chapter titles are break-up songs and lines just to add a little fun!) This is a list of 50 action steps at the back of the book to help make breaking up with perfect permanent. The list includes memory verses as well as fun and whimsical activities to push away the seriousness of perfectionism.

I also developed these:

Leader Guide CoverParticipant Guide Cover

These are downloadable PDFs that are now offered FREE when you buy multiple copies for your group. (The receipts can come from any retailer, but click here to see the instructions on the Proverbs 31 Ministries site.) These free resources are will be available through July 21 because I know leaders need to vet the book first. That used to be my job, so I understand!

Having led studies myself, I tried to include all the things in the Leader’s Guide that I want as a leader. It includes:

  • All the same materials your participant’s have in their guide PLUS
  • A letter to you straight from my heart
  • A timeline for completing the study in 7 weeks
  • A schedule for a 1-hour meeting
  • “Leg-Up for Leaders” at the beginning of each chapter that includes fresh ideas for leading each session including ice-breakers and getting-to-know-you questions.
  • “Spin-Off Thoughts” are additional ideas and scriptures for your teaching time. I know lots of us are used to teaching videos, but you can do it with these ideas to get you started!
  • Ideas for a final Breaking Up with Perfect Party for your group.

I hope this answers your questions if you lead a small group. If you think of any others, please leave them in the comments. I’d love to answer them for everyone.

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  2. Elise Gardner says:

    I’ve tried to be perfect forever. Now my daughter is trying What have I done ?! We would benefit from reading these insights Amy. She is raising her two children who are 10 and 8. Can you help God to help us break this cycle ? Thanks for listening and reading . Elise G.

  3. Would love this book! Reading your post on Proverbs 31 today was like reading my story. So want to break up with my ‘not good enough’ tendencies!!!

    1. Amy Carroll says:

      I’m so glad we’re not alone and on the journey together!

  4. I have struggled with this for years! With God’s help and direction, I am learning to let it go better than before. I don’t want my kids to grow up feeling this same sense that I can sometimes portray on them. I am also embarking on a big leadership position and feel this book could help guide me with working with others, as well as with my marriage. Thank you for all of your words of encouragement!

  5. In attempting to be the everything for everybody, I’ve lost site of who I am.
    Perhaps this book will help me reconnect with myself and remind me that
    I am God’s beloved child.

    1. Amy Carroll says:

      I’m praying that with you right now, Karla! I felt the same way, especially when my boys were small.

  6. I have always seeked perfection in all I do and it can be exhausting. I have learned that there is a line between excellence and perfection…but it is still a struggle.

  7. I would love to read this book. I am going through some hard times in my marriage and one of the things that I have discovered/felt is that my family and I had to be perfect because I am a teacher in a parochial school and people are always watching us. I realize now that neither I nor my family can be perfect.

  8. I strongly urge all of you to consider getting this book and then using it if you have a Bible study! It is authentic in ways that I believe every woman would grow from. I know I have found myself in the pages time and again and I know it is not because I am perfect….lol
    I have a copy that I am working my way through and love it! Please consider it! Your sister in Christ, Mary