Make sure to enter to win a great giveaway today at the end of this post!
Have you ever been in a situation when someone hands you their plate of trash? In other words, they try to make you responsible for their lack of planning, emotional baggage, or work load. I talk more about that in today’s devotion “I Believe This is Your Plate of Trash,” an excerpt from my new book Exhale, co-authored with Cheri Gregory.
“Plates of trash” = Inappropriate expectations
In the past, I’ve defaulted to two different but equally damaging reactions because of “plates of trash” being passed to me:
- Anger– An inappropriate expectation leveled at me by someone else makes my blood boil. Maybe I’m ok with it at first, but the longer I live with the consequences of trying to meet or deflect that inappropriate expectation the more frustrated and resentful I become. Not helpful. I can’t love my people well in that state.
- Aquiescence– In other words, I give in. I do what someone else expects me to do even though it was never mine to do, resulting in a cluttered schedule and a frenzied heart.
Thankfully, Jesus gives us a different response that allows us to stay focused on the mission He’s given us as well loving our people.
We gently but firmly hand back the plate of trash.
How do we do that practically?
- With a loving but empowered “no” (the power comes from knowing God’s mission for us)
- With a boundary
- With a compromise ie. “I can’t do what you’ve asked me to do, but I can do ______________.”
There’s more about how to walk through those steps in Exhale: Lose Who You’re Not. Love Who You Are. Live Your One Life Well. If you’re exhausted from trying to be All The Things for all the people all the time, Exhale is for you!
Here’s what some of our friends who are reading advanced copies of Exhale are saying:
“I think about how many plates of trash I have accepted in the past. I’m not your trashcan anymore!” ~Linda
“Exhale is phenomenal! The freedom to love who I am is amazing. Chapter 11 particularly made me smile and rush right in to find out how ‘what makes me weird makes me wonderful.'” ~Jenn
“As I’ve been reading, I feel the inner walls coming down that I’ve built up after years (really a whole lifetime) of rejection and perfectionism and internalizing every single critical comment as truth about who I really am. Parts of my old ways are breaking down and something new is being built up within me.” ~Anonymous
The book releases June 4th, but when you pre-order from your favorite book-seller, Cheri and I have some fabulous freebies that we’ll send to you.
(“The Expectation Evaluation” is the freebie that will walk you step-by-step through evaluating what’s your assignment versus what’s a “plate of trash.” It’s a super-practical tool that brings clarity in murky situations.)
You can claim your freebies in two easy steps:
- Order Exhale from your favorite book seller. (Click on the links below.)
2. Submit a copy of your receipt to [email protected]. Voila! Your freebies will arrive automatically in your inbox.
In expectation and celebration of our book baby, Exhale, Cheri and I are giving away a fun package today that includes:
A pre-release copy of Exhale (You’ll be one of the few to have it right now!)
A beautiful Exhale stamped necklace
Yummy Chapel Hill Toffee
A Rae Dunn ceramic sign
Shea butter spa soap (smells amazing!)
Plant not included 🙂
To enter, tell us how the “plate of trash” concept helps you with others’ expectations, or simply say, “I’m ready to exhale!”